What is Barakah?

Was there a time in your life when you experienced difficult days and had to put others' needs before your own? The burden of responsibilities was so overwhelming that there was hardly any time for yourself.

You then decided that it's okay, I'll carry out my responsibilities first and sacrifice my own needs? You struggled so hard to serve those who needed you and in the remaining, limited time that you had, you calmly worked efficiently and became extraordinarily productive. Hey, you even surprised yourself.

As a result, you got a strike of 'luck' and everything fell into place. The limited resource (time) that you had was used for the benefit of self and others and blessings after blessings kept coming in continuously beyond your expectations. This is referred to as BARAKAH.

A Well-known scholar of Islam explains BARAKAH as follows:
والبركة: هي ثبوت الخير الإلهي في الشيء؛ فإنها إذا حلت في قليل كثرته، وإذا حلت في كثير نفع، ومن أعظم ثمار البركة في الأمور كلها إستعمالها في طاعة الله عز وجل.
“Barakah is the attachment of Divine goodness to a thing, so if it occurs in something little, it increases it. And if it occurs in something much it benefits. And the greatest fruits of Barakah in all things is to use that barakah in the obedience of Allah (Subahanahu Wa Ta’ala)”

As a Muslim, I believe that when we make time for Allah, Allah will set our affairs straight, our limited time productive, our finances sufficient, our bodies healthy and fit, and our lives full of barakah.InshaAlllah.

In other words, minimal resources with maximum results.

How did you attain barakah in your business, marriage, career, family, time, money, or resources?



photo credit: islamicquotes.com

Be composed at all times

My children 

when you grow up and find yourself in a situation of praise, criticism or argument,

be thankful,

be calm, 

be attentive,

be patient,

be humble,

be well-timed 

and leave with peace. 

To politely deal with people, you must first learn these qualities in your prayers the way you stand and kneel in front of Allah.

Successful people and the kind of parents they have

Most of the time, as a mom, I have no idea whether my parenting is heading towards the right direction. I mean I have no clue whether I’m doing it right? I want my children to grow up and become successful people, see. But I am doing it right?

When I look at my high-achieving friends, I wonder how they became so outstandingly successful at such a young age. I wonder how they managed to go beyond expectations and end up in prestigious universities; doing research, become successful 6-figure entrepreneurs, or even become public figures.

Often, I search no more than beyond the compounds of their homes. What was it like to be them growing up? How did their parents treat them? What were their parents like? What kind of parenting style did their parents opt for?

It comes as no surprise that these successful and confident people are the children of, well, successful parents.

I’ve realized that it’s not so much the parenting style.

It’s who the parent is as a person.

Those accepted to prestigious universities taking up some kind of robotic science doctorate degree programmes are daughters who have university academics as their moms, and those successful entrepreneurs are sons of successful entrepreneur dads. And those who are excellent public speakers are sons and daughters of expressive opinionated parents whose face almost always appear on the telly or in the local newspaper.

Children learn through our actions. Probably, the only parenting style most likely to produce successful children is setting an example.

As for me, my parents’ definition of success is to see us children be ambassadors of Islam. I mean I’m not successful yet. Not on their terms. I’m almost there, but just not quite yet. And I am trying my best to head towards that direction my parents set. It’s true. Sooner or later, your children will become YOU.

I mean we all have different ideas and versions of the construct of success. Success means different things to different people.

In future, I want my children to be successful. By that I mean I want them to be close to God, responsible, neat, organized, independent, work a day job, content with life’s small pleasures, make time for family, have friends around, have deep heart to heart conversations with me, read books, spend in charity and above all, of course I want them to be happy.

Remember, there’s NO right way to do this whole parenting thing.

I have so much respect for you non-conformist moms. The mom who is the total opposite of what I am as a mom. The spur of the moment mom who can just pop cookies in the oven just because her kid wants homemade cookies; she doesn’t require a shopping list, a to-do list, and doesn’t have to plan everything to a T in advance. The mom who wants her kids to explore and embrace their unique interests, the mom who doesn't want her kids to become people who have day jobs. The ‘messy’ mom who enjoys playing with her kids over obsessing about cleaning the house, and the mom who really knows how to have a good time and a good laugh with her kids.

That’s the mom who has her priorities right. As a mom, my priority is my kids, not my walls. When will I ever learn?

They need to see me happy. Not tired and grumpy after running around cleaning and straightening the house. They need that smile and look of reassuring love, above anything else. Above my silly ideals of a neat and organized home.

My kids are my priority.

While I believe that we all have different parenting styles, I think we can all agree that we want our children to be content and happy people.

Look at those adorable naughty faces and give them that heart-warming smile.

It’s time for me to be less serious and laugh a little more because that’s the person I want my child to be. (And also because my husband says I’m too serious most of the time. My defense is that I have too much on my mind, and too much to do. Haha!)

Reasons why you haven’t achieved anything in life

My sisters and I are all different in both personality and outlook in life but we all share one thing in common – we want to be successful young women. We recently talked about how we felt like we hadn't  achieved anything much in life and we were mostly frustrated that we hadn’t reached our personal goals that we set for ourselves in our early 20s. It was only after talking to each other that we realized that we all had achieved success in our lives. This brings me to the reasons why you think you haven’t achieved anything in life, when in fact, you actually have. During that discussion with my sisters, while each of us could only point out our flaws and lack of success, it was apparent in the eyes of the other sister that we were already successful in life.

Through the other sister’s eyes ‘success’ is defined in different ways:

·         Being organized despite having to juggle between work and home

Or..

·         Staying at home with kids and being able to give attention, education and wholesome meals for them while working part time

Or..

·         Working independently in a business and being innovative with  limited resources

Or..

·         Being able to do as Allah asks in appearance and acts, an not being afraid of this Islamaphobic world that we live in 

Or..

·          Practicing what you preach and making it a duty to better other people’s lives

The moment we stopped focusing on academic success, monetary rewards, rank or fame, we understood that being successful is simply doing your best in the consequences that Allah destined you to be in.

I write this for myself because more often than not, I am my own worst critic and I tend to focus on my weaknesses rather than my strengths, and I often beat myself up for not achieving my goals on time.

I beat myself up for not being enough, 

for not doing enough,  

for not saying enough, 

for not achieving enough goals on time.

Sometimes, if you really look, you already have what you need to achieve your goals..

You might hate your job and think that you should be doing something else or be in a better place.

That’s not true.

You are where you’re meant to be. Allah knows best what’s good for you, and you don’t.

If you’re still feeling unsatisfied with your life, it’s CLARITY that you need. What is it that YOU want in life? Not what others want for you, and not what others think you need. What do YOU want?

Have CLARITY.

Write a list of the things YOU want in life. Only then you’ll find that you’ve achieved A LOT in life and when you have CLARITY, you are clear of what goals YOU want to achieve in this life. Put your TRUST in Allah, and he will take you where you want to be inshaALLAH. And if He doesn't take you where you want to be, it's because He knows better. 

Remember that in Islam, true ACHIEMENT (victory) lies in doing everything for Allah's sake according to the teachings of the Quran and living the life of the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammad s.a.w. 

When writing your GOALS in life in what YOU want in this world, make sure it aligns with the meaning of ACHIEVEMENT (victory) in Islam..

For example

WHAT I WANT IN LIFE (GOALS)

1.       I want to be a humble slave of Allah

2.     I want to be an adorable wife

3.       I want to educate my child

4.       I want to be financially okay

5.       I want to help others see their potential

6.       I want to contribute to charity

7.       I want to simplify my life and help others do the same

8.       I want a house interior that projects calmness

9.       I want to learn and practice the Sunnah/life of the Prophet

10.   I want to call others to Allah

I

I I I want to memorize the Quran

I IiI want to pay off debt

When you are absolutely clear about the things YOU want in life, you are already SUCCESSFUL, this is your definition of ACHIEVEMENT.

Achievement is not in the number of followers that you have, the multiple degrees you obtain, the car that you drive, the money that you make. It’s in fulfilling what YOU want in this life with the intention to please ALLAH. Trust that Allah has given you enough to do all the things YOU want and only HE can make  you happy. Anything else that worries you, push it aside. Is it in the list of things you want? No? Well push it aside.

Every difficulty that you face, if it’s in line with the things YOU want, it is a blessing.

 It helps you mature.

Tell yourself.. “This difficulty.. it makes me stronger, builds my character,  beautifies my soul, strengthens my dependence on ALLAH and increased my patience and endurance. By enduring difficulty, I became more mature and now I can take on anything that comes my way.”

Keep calm and keep doing the mundane routine even if it bores you because it will help you achieve YOUR goal. 

Keep sane and keep helping others even if it hurts you if that is ACHIEVEMENT in your eyes.

This is part of GROWING and this is YOUR definition of success. Your definition of ACHIEVEMENT.

Keep your GOALS in mind, and keep doing what you need to do to get there. 

Put your TRUST in Allah and be optimistic. Allah knows what's BEST for you.

 

What's the Secret to Happiness?

Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have done much of the research on gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on particular topics.

One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After 10 weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.

So.. What's the secret to happiness?

The secret is in expressing gratitude, daily.

Thank Allah. 

Ya Allah, Alhamdulillah for all the difficulties that you blessed me with - they make me stronger, build my character,  beautify my soul, strengthen my dependence on You and increase my patience and endurance. By enduring difficulty, I became more mature and now I can take on anything that comes my way.

Ya Allah, Alhamdulilah for all the blessings that You gifted me with. The gift of breathing, the gift of thinking, the gift of being able to see the beauty of the world. I'm not on life support, I wasn't born mentally retarded, and I am blessed with eyesight, while others are blind and only see black.

I promise to do my daily prayers on time, because it's the best way to thank You Allah. When I am thankful, I am happy!

15 Things I Learned in 2015

1. Be true to be you.

2. Accepting your weaknesses doesn't mean you're weak. 

3. Let people be and accept them for who they are. Beautifully, annoyingly, literally. Don't try to change them.

4. Your child is not a reflection of your parenting. She is her unique self.

5. You can and should offer help but people won't always appreciate it. 

6. Be okay with giving your all and be okay with not getting the results you were expecting.

7. Perfectionism is your ultimate enemy. "I will do it all or I will do nothing" attitude to life is never okay. Have something, do something, be something. It doesn't have to be perfect.

8. You can never solve people's problems but you can be there to listen and support them.

9. You are not what happened to you, you are who you choose to be.

10. There is no such thing as luck. Life is a choice you make. It's called fate.

11. Help only comes from Alllah swt. No human being is capable of accomplishing anything on their own except with the help of Allah swt. When you have Allah, you're not afraid of anything or anyone.

12. Every single person is special.
When you walk into a room don't judge them for how they appear to be but think about what part of their life molded them to be the way they are.

13. Food makes everyone happy. Be generous with food and always eat on time!

14. Having passion, hobbies and goals in life is what makes you feel alive.

15. You are everything you think you are! Weird, emotional, deep, fun-loving, innovative, silly, kind, stupid, intelligent, disorganized, organized, romantic, annoying, reflective, talkative, sentimental, loving, thoughtful, blind.

Life is full of lessons and the best lessons come from those who've lived it; and from those who are seeing it for the first time. This year,
I hope to take more time to learn from elders and children 

Calmness is the Answer

What is this pain?
Is it a test of faith again?
Words swirl in the dark,
Leaving an abrasive mark.

Laughter is not medicine,
Smiling is a chore,
Your efforts are pulling you up,
A weight presses you down.

My dear, you are a servant,
Bow down to Allah,
Whisper and scream and cry,
He hears your torment. 

You look above,
With a blanket of love,
He covers you with his Mercy,
He knows, He knows. 

Surely He is with you,
You know what to do..

React with calmness
in any situation you're put through.

When You're Feeling Down

The hardest thing is getting through life pretending everything is okay.

We all do it.

You and I.

You are not alone, my friend.

We've tried.

We know.

No one can erase our problems.

Not even ourselves.

We turn to Allah and we watch our hardships dissipate and disappear.

Alhamdulilah, Allah has brought us home.

When Allah is in our hearts, we are home.

Gold Wrap: A short story

A mother punished her five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and she became more upset when the girl used the gold paper to decorate a box.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the golden gift box to her mother the next morning and said, “This is for you mommy.” The mother was embarrassed by her earlier overreaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her 5 year old daughter in a harsh manner, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside the gift box?”

She had tears in her eyes and said, “But there is something in that box mommy.  I blew kisses into it until it was full.”

The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around the little girl and apologized lovingly for her thoughtless anger.

An accident took the life of the girl 3 days later, and it is told that the mother kept that box of gold by her bed for all the years of her life.

Whenever she was discouraged and when she felt the whole world was against her, she would take out kisses from the box to comfort her and remember of her loving daughter. And everything would be all right again.

She was in hold of the most precious possession of all. The gift she received was the gift of unconditional love. Love from GOD, family, and true friends can never compare to gold.

The weight of the world and a cup of coffee

A lecturer came to his class and surprised his students by bringing a Cup of Coffee.

He held it up for all to see & asked the students “What do you think is the weight of this Cup?”

’50gms!’ …. ’100gms!’ …..’125gms’  the students answered.

“Frankly speaking I haven’t yet weighed it” said the lecturer, “but, my question is:  What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”

‘Nothing’ …..the students said. 

‘Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the lecturer asked.

‘Your arm would begin to ache’ said one of the student “You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”

“Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!”  ventured another student & all the students laughed “Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the Cup change?” asked the lecturer.

‘No‘…. Was the answer.

“Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?”

The students were puzzled.

“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked the lecturer again.

“Put the cup down!” said one of the students

“Exactly!” said the lecturer.

Life’s problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.

Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

Everyday we face so many problems in life that if we hold each and everyone of them, our life will be paralyzed. Its important to think about the solutions to the problems but also important to keep it down before we sleep so that we can start fresh the next day

What are you most afraid of?

They say that if you ask yourself what you're most afraid of, you'll find what it is that you love the most.

I am most afraid of losing my child. I am somewhat afraid of living alone at an old age with no one to rely on, no one to care for me. I am quite afraid if I ever get into an accident and it causes me to become crippled or dependent of other people. I am afraid of losing my mind, more specifically, the ability to think and reflect (or the intelligence that Allah blessed every sane person with).

I am afraid to face the day I lose my parents. I am afraid if I ever lose my husband to another woman. I am afraid of losing my job. I am afraid that I am not a good servant of Allah, that I might have made Him displeased with me in any way.

In no particular order, it seems clear to me now that
I love my daughter,
I love my family and friends (people whom I care about and who care about me), 

I love my independence, 

I love my health and fitness,
I love thinking, reflecting, and pondering over things,
I love my parents,
I love my husband,
I love financial security,
and I love Allah.

I know now that I must focus on the things I love, in the list above, and make sure that I make time for them all.

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do." -Rumi

I also know that I love writing. I may not be a perfect writer, but writing for me is a creative outlet which relieves me from overthinking and makes me a happier person. Being 'busy' has never given me the freedom to write, but I'll be sure to give attention to myself and at least reflect, ponder and write on one thing each day so that I become a more well-balanced and happier person.

I'd like to end this writing with one of my favorite quotes..
"Your attention is your most valuable possession. Give it to those you love the most."

Make your own list of the things you love the most and be sure to give attention to every single person on that list including yourself and your needs. I'm sure that it will make you feel more contented with your life.

Since social media is not on that list, I have made it a point to only check my social media once in the morning, and once in the evening, or once at noon and once at night. While other people's posts are interesting, it is not where I should invest my time in. It is also not the place I should be giving my attention to. I find that this small step has made me a much happier person.

May Allah place happiness in your hearts too. Amin

How Long will You Live?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

You walk by a grave and you see engraved on it the year 1887. Now it's the year 2015. 

You think to yourself how long ago was that?  And then you realize that you live in this world for a measly 60 or 70 years, or if you're lucky to live without any debilitating diseases, you'll live till you're 80 or so.

Then it hit you that the person laying in the grave has lived far longer in the grave than he/she actually lived on the face of this earth.. and how longer will he/she be in there?

This world, as the scholars put it, is a bridge to the next world. We stay here only for a short vacation, A very short one. The next world will be everlasting and infinite.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
" After the death of a person, his actions stop, except three things that he leaves behind: First, continuous charity, Second, knowledge from which some benefit may be obtained, Third, a virtuous son who make dua (pray, supplicate) on his behalf." Related by Muslim.

This hadith advises us on investments we need to make while we are still alive that will hopefully benefit us after we die.

1. Continuous charity: (e.g. building/contributing to a masjd/ orphanage that still serves as a place of worship or place of refuge/comfort for orphans)

2.  Knowledge: This advice highlights the importance of passing on beneficial knowledge to people, guiding one person who then guides someone, calling people to the wonders of Islam

3. Children: When we are blessed with children, it is important to raise them properly, and asking them to keep us in in our prayers, God willing.

May Allah guide us to invest in the dunya (world) for the akhirah (hereafter). Ameeen,.