Gold Wrap: A short story

A mother punished her five year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and she became more upset when the girl used the gold paper to decorate a box.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the golden gift box to her mother the next morning and said, “This is for you mommy.” The mother was embarrassed by her earlier overreaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty. She spoke to her 5 year old daughter in a harsh manner, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside the gift box?”

She had tears in her eyes and said, “But there is something in that box mommy.  I blew kisses into it until it was full.”

The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around the little girl and apologized lovingly for her thoughtless anger.

An accident took the life of the girl 3 days later, and it is told that the mother kept that box of gold by her bed for all the years of her life.

Whenever she was discouraged and when she felt the whole world was against her, she would take out kisses from the box to comfort her and remember of her loving daughter. And everything would be all right again.

She was in hold of the most precious possession of all. The gift she received was the gift of unconditional love. Love from GOD, family, and true friends can never compare to gold.

You will never achieve true righteousness until you spend from that which you love most

If we would like to achieve success and gain greater blessings in what we have or earn, we must learn to share whatever we have with others. The Almighty has a special Mercy upon those who share their possessions with others. Never let the heart be so deeply attached to wealth or other belongings because the day we are tested in those things, we will find it very difficult to overcome such tests o...r even to undrstand the wisdom in the Almighty's Plan. From childhood we should train our offspring to share their toys, food and other belongings where possible so that as they grow they learn to love this great habit and feel very happy and blessed to share. Some take sharing as a burden whereas others claim not to have enough to be able to share when in fact they have more than enough. The Great Companions shared even at times of their own desperate need for the same item - which was sometimes food and drink. Although we may not get to that level of selflessness, if we aim there, we will be able to get nearer. The Almighty says, "You will never achieve true righteousness until you spend from that which you love most." S 3:2

The text above is a snippet from Mufti Menk. May Allah bless him and his family.

The weight of the world and a cup of coffee

A lecturer came to his class and surprised his students by bringing a Cup of Coffee.

He held it up for all to see & asked the students “What do you think is the weight of this Cup?”

’50gms!’ …. ’100gms!’ …..’125gms’  the students answered.

“Frankly speaking I haven’t yet weighed it” said the lecturer, “but, my question is:  What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”

‘Nothing’ …..the students said. 

‘Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the lecturer asked.

‘Your arm would begin to ache’ said one of the student “You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”

“Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!”  ventured another student & all the students laughed “Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the Cup change?” asked the lecturer.

‘No‘…. Was the answer.

“Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?”

The students were puzzled.

“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked the lecturer again.

“Put the cup down!” said one of the students

“Exactly!” said the lecturer.

Life’s problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.

Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

Everyday we face so many problems in life that if we hold each and everyone of them, our life will be paralyzed. Its important to think about the solutions to the problems but also important to keep it down before we sleep so that we can start fresh the next day

Minimalism in Islam

Islam promotes moderation and shuns extravagance or extremism in any avenue of life. It encourages people to fulfill their basic needs moderately, without wasting any resources.

In Islam, there is a constant reminder of death and the afterlife. We are told to 'Be in this life like a stranger or a traveller'

Unfortunately,in this day and age of materialism and consumerism, it's easy to end up accumulating lots of stuff that we don't need which end up cluttering up our homes.

Fortunately, there's a good deal of people out there who have started websites and blogs about "minimalist living". They're not Muslims either, they're just people who prefer the simplicity of a nice clean home with the philosophy that less stuff is more living. Lucky for us though, we can use their tips to help us live like travellers.

The misconception of minimalism to most people is that you have a bare  home with no tv, and no possessions whatsoever.

This isn't true.

I consider myself a minimalist.

Here's my example of minimalism in my life : A minimalist wardrobe.

(1) Picking out 30pcs of my 'best' clothing

Right now, I have 30 pcs of clothing lined up in my closet. Most of these pcs are 'multifunctionial'. Think 1 blouse, 3 different looks. I try to dress my best at all times.

(2) Getting ready in the morning becomes easy as pie

The upside is that it's much faster to get dressed in the morning when you can clearly see all your favourite clothing hanging in the closet. Plus,
I have less laundry to deal with.

(3) Quality over quantity

Think quality over quantity. It's very easy to find 30 pcs of clothing that you feel comfortable and confident in.

(4) My clothing is displayed nicely

They can actually breathe.
I have reduced my scarves to 15 pcs. They are all laid out nicely as if they were showcased in a clothing store.

(5) Shopping under the bed

Having only 30 pcs of clothing in my closet doesn't mean that I don't own anymore clothing. I do.

I keep the excess clothing and scarves in storage casings underneath my bed and when I start getting bored of my 30pc wardrobe, I 'shop' under the bed first, haha, before I hit the stores.

Usually, if you really look into your closet, you'll find that sometimes when you think you want to go shopping for a pair of white pants, for instant, it's actually already there in your closet.

Want proof? I bet you have 5 different scarves in the same colour and you always end up wearing only one of them anyway? 😄

Embracing minimalism or choosing to live simply has changed my life drastically and positively in so many ways. I'm still learning. I think a true Muslim woman minimalist would be those women wearing black abayas every day throughout the year. I'm not there yet. 😂

In the end, we'll all leave our worldly possessions. This world is temporary. I choose to seek experiences and relationships instead of material things. May Allah guide me to do good deeds with the rizq (sustenance) that I'm blessed with. Amin.

What are you most afraid of?

They say that if you ask yourself what you're most afraid of, you'll find what it is that you love the most.

I am most afraid of losing my child. I am somewhat afraid of living alone at an old age with no one to rely on, no one to care for me. I am quite afraid if I ever get into an accident and it causes me to become crippled or dependent of other people. I am afraid of losing my mind, more specifically, the ability to think and reflect (or the intelligence that Allah blessed every sane person with).

I am afraid to face the day I lose my parents. I am afraid if I ever lose my husband to another woman. I am afraid of losing my job. I am afraid that I am not a good servant of Allah, that I might have made Him displeased with me in any way.

In no particular order, it seems clear to me now that
I love my daughter,
I love my family and friends (people whom I care about and who care about me), 

I love my independence, 

I love my health and fitness,
I love thinking, reflecting, and pondering over things,
I love my parents,
I love my husband,
I love financial security,
and I love Allah.

I know now that I must focus on the things I love, in the list above, and make sure that I make time for them all.

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do." -Rumi

I also know that I love writing. I may not be a perfect writer, but writing for me is a creative outlet which relieves me from overthinking and makes me a happier person. Being 'busy' has never given me the freedom to write, but I'll be sure to give attention to myself and at least reflect, ponder and write on one thing each day so that I become a more well-balanced and happier person.

I'd like to end this writing with one of my favorite quotes..
"Your attention is your most valuable possession. Give it to those you love the most."

Make your own list of the things you love the most and be sure to give attention to every single person on that list including yourself and your needs. I'm sure that it will make you feel more contented with your life.

Since social media is not on that list, I have made it a point to only check my social media once in the morning, and once in the evening, or once at noon and once at night. While other people's posts are interesting, it is not where I should invest my time in. It is also not the place I should be giving my attention to. I find that this small step has made me a much happier person.

May Allah place happiness in your hearts too. Amin

Parenting in Islam

Bismilahirrahmanirrahim

Using humour was Rasullullah's way of dealing with children.

Prophet Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah pbuh sent 10 year old Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) on an errand.

However, Anas stopped on the street to watch the children play and forgot about his errand.

Prophet Muhammad pbuh went outside and saw that Anas was playing with the children, he (pbuh) silently crept up behind him, laughing and asked about whether Anas had fulfilled his task.

Anas told the prophet (pbuh) that he had forgotten all about his task. Muhammad (pbuh) laughed and said, "it's okay. You're a child and you like to play. Now go and fulfill your duty and come back and play."

I mean, as parents, if we ask our kids to do something, and they don't do it... we don't laugh, do we?

This morning, I was washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen and when I had finished I found that Medina had thrown her toys all over the living room.

Usually I would get all upset and pull a face while picking up the toys.

But this time I tried laughing.

I laughed. It felt silly, but I laughed.

I said to her, "This is so funny, I leave you for 10 minutes and you scattered your toys all over the living room. And you poured your books all over the playroom floor."

I laughed at the mess while picking up her toys.😄

Guess what? It worked. She started laughing too. She felt like it was a positive experience.

Imagine you did something wrong at work.. how would you feel if your boss scolded you? as opposed to him making things right by laughing off at your mistake while advising you to get it right the next time. You'd probably feel confused but the message from your boss gets across  to you. If he screams and scolds you, you'd probably end up feeling bitter and resent him.

How to Organize Toys

Organizing tips: Toys

- I keep toys that my girl frequently plays with in places where she can reach on her own.
She only gets to put her toys in 3 compartments out of the 9 compartment shelf where her selected beloved toys are placed.

- To avoid mess, I keep toys in sets in containers ; ie cooking set, doctor set, play dough set; in places where my daughter can see them but can't reach them. These containers can be found at Daiso for only RM5 😉

- When my daughter requests for the doctor set, I bring it down for her to play with. She knows she has to tidy them up and put those toys back into the container before she plays with another set of toys such as the cooking set.

- I keep reward toys higher; ie paint, jigsaw puzzles, stamp and roll.
I give my daughter reward toys when she uses the potty because we are potty training her. Every time she uses the potty instead of wetting her pants, she gets to paint, or build a sandcastle, or solve a jigsaw she absolutely love. Reward!